Unearthing the Unseen Trauma: Part 1 - Hidden Trauma and Personal Reflections
Hidden Trauma: Revealing the Unseen Pain
Trauma isn't always as conspicuous as we might expect. Sometimes, it lingers in the shadows of our memories, buried beneath the layers of our everyday lives. In this two-part series, we delve into the concept of hidden trauma, exploring why it often eludes our notice and how we can begin to unearth it, fostering healing and growth.
Unveiling Hidden Trauma
Hidden trauma, in contrast to more overt forms of trauma, tends to remain concealed. It often stems from experiences that were downplayed, ignored, or never properly processed. These events might not have been life-threatening, yet they etch their mark on our emotional landscape. At times, the impact can manifest in subtle ways, like a twitch in your shoulder.
For me, it was akin to the involuntary elbow movement my father exhibited while driving—a nervous tick, echoing the remnants of a car accident he'd had as a teenager. These somatic expressions often go unnoticed, but our bodies are constantly sending us signals.
Concealed Pain
Why do we overlook hidden trauma? There are various reasons. Society often urges us to "move on'' when we experience disappointment, whether from losing a race, missing out on a significant accolade, or being deceived by a friend. If any of these experiences hold personal meaning for you, perhaps because the stakes were high in your peer group, or it was an essential step toward your aspirations, it may have been painful when your feelings were dismissed. Maybe your parents, with the best intentions, tried to console you, but it felt like they were saying, "don't cry over spilled milk." In those moments, countless other things may have gone awry, and your emotions remain unacknowledged.
The Strength of Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is a powerful tool for uncovering hidden trauma. When we find ourselves triggered as adults, strong emotions surface. For instance, when our parents speak to us in a way that feels eerily familiar and unsettling, taking a moment to dissect the negative thoughts preceding these emotions can provide valuable insight. This introspection allows us to examine our past familial experiences, leading to profound discoveries. Recognizing the existence of hidden, intricate family dynamics opens the door to understanding adaptive patterns that served us as children, and encourages us to evolve in response to these patterns for our greater good. It is a positive step toward healing and unraveling what lies beneath.
Personal Stories and Anecdotes
My early experience with trauma occurred when I lost my six-year-old older sister to Leukemia. She was not just my sister; she was my best playmate. At three years old, she was gone, and the concept of death was beyond my comprehension. I imagined her up in a tree because "God," "Heaven," and "Angels" all seemed high above. The grieving and the reminiscing within our church community were healthy and normal, but the loss of a predictable and daily playmate added a complex twist to my life—a fear of being left and abandoned. This early belief, that loving and being intimate with someone meant they would eventually leave, affected me deeply. Perhaps you, too, have experienced tragic events and processed them in ways that no longer serve your well-being. A fresh perspective can be transformative.
Recognizing Recurring Patterns
The first step in healing from deeply buried pain is recognizing the unusual fears and patterns that may have taken root. In my case, it was an intense fear of abandonment that I wasn't even aware of. Hidden trauma lingered beneath the surface, manifesting as a desire to control the outcome of my relationships, often pushing loved ones away before they could leave me. It took a decade into my teens and early twenties to uncover this unconscious pattern. For many of us, these patterns reveal themselves through recurring emotional responses, relationship challenges, or unexplained fears. Identifying these patterns is a crucial step toward unveiling hidden trauma
Jennifer Degen
October 19, 2023
Ready to begin your journey to healing and self-discovery? Schedule a personal consultation on my calendar now and take the first step towards unearthing hidden trauma. Let's explore your path to resilience and well-being together. Schedule a chat here.
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